Story Of A Man Who Became A Father Through Surrogacy

Government job was not in Preetesh Dave’s destiny. That is why he could not get married.

But he loves children and he wanted to grow his family even without getting married. In such a situation, he decided to take the help of surrogacy.

He is probably one of the last few people to become a single father of twins without getting married.

Today he is raising a son and a daughter. Both the children are about to turn one year old. Preetesh Dave was lucky that he became a surrogate father just a few days before the new surrogacy law came into force, otherwise it would not have been possible for him to do so now.

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Reason behind becoming a surrogate father?

Preetesh is 37 years old and is single. He says that many girls used to propose to him, but when they came to know that he did not have a government job, the girls used to refuse.

Despite being financially well off, he was not able to get married. He is not very educated either. He has studied only till 12th. He says that this was also one of the reasons for not getting a girl for marriage.

Preetesh Dave says, “There are many men in my society who could not get girls for marriage because parents prefer to marry their daughters to youth with government jobs. We have land and property, but this is not important for them. Only government job is important for them.”

According to Preetesh’s father Bhanushankar Dave, “There is a ‘Sata’ tradition in our caste. It means giving one daughter and taking another. Despite a lot of searching, we could not find a girl for Preetesh.”

Pritesh runs a customer service centre for a nationalised bank in Bhavnagar. His parents live in Surat.

He used to commute between Surat and Bhavnagar. Meanwhile, he felt lonely and wanted to become a father even though he was not married, so some people suggested surrogacy to him.

Pritesh Dave says, “I am proud to be a father through surrogacy and also consider myself lucky because now according to the new law, an unmarried man like me cannot become a father through surrogacy.”

Ahmedabad-based infertility specialist and Pritesh’s surrogacy consultant Dr Parth Bavisi says, “He regrets not being able to get married. He wanted a complete family. So he came to me with this wish.”

Became father of twins

The moment of becoming a father was important for Preetesh. Preetesh says, “When both those children came into my world, my happiness knew no bounds. I could not understand whether to laugh or cry. Initially they were weak so they were kept in the incubator. When I held them in my arms for the first time, it was the best moment of my life. I cannot describe it.”

Dr. Parth Bavisi says, “Then seeing Preetesh, it felt as if he had got all the happiness in the world. It seemed as if he was not able to believe that he had become a father.”

Preetesh’s father Bhanu Shankar Dave and mother Divyani Dave are overjoyed at becoming grandparents.

Bhanu Shankar says, “The house used to feel very lonely without children. Now it seems as if this whole house is lit up with the light of happiness. By the grace of nature, both a daughter and a son have come to the house.”

Preetesh’s mother Divyani Dave also says, “With the arrival of these two, we have got a priceless treasure. My wish of becoming a grandmother has also been fulfilled. And the brother got a sister and the sister got a brother.” The family has named the son Dhairya and the daughter Divya. ‘No regrets of not getting married’ Preetesh says that he does not regret not getting married after having children.

Will he want to get married if he finds a girl of his choice? When asked this, Preetesh says, “After the arrival of Dhairya and Divya, I do not want to get married now. I do not know whether my future wife will take care of the children properly or not, so I am happy to take care of them alone. Now I have only one goal in life – to raise my children well.” Bhanushankar Dave says, “Our dream of playing with grandchildren is coming true.” Divyani Dave says, “We don’t even realize where our time goes in raising these two. We don’t differentiate between a boy and a girl. Both are dear to me.”

What is surrogacy?

Many women are unable to conceive due to fertility problems, miscarriage or high-risk pregnancy. Or many do not want to conceive on their own.

In such a situation, the option of surrogacy is beneficial for them. That is, when a couple takes the help of another woman’s womb to have a child. In this, the entire process from taking the help of eggs to this other woman giving birth to the couple’s child is called surrogacy.

Doctor Parth Bavisi says, “Preetesh’s sperm was collected and the eggs of a woman (whose identity has been kept secret) were collected. Then the embryo was prepared through IVF and implanted in the womb of the surrogate mother.

“We implanted two embryos to increase the chances of survival. But both embryos developed and twins were born.”

In this surrogacy, a woman becomes pregnant for the couple with the help of her own or another donor or through the egg of the woman of the couple, with the help of the sperm of the donor or the man of the couple. The woman who carries someone else’s child in her womb is called a surrogate mother.

Types of surrogacy

There are two types of surrogacy. Traditional surrogacy and gestational surrogacy.

Traditional surrogacy- In which the sperm of the father or donor is combined with the eggs of the surrogate mother.

Then the doctor artificially injects the sperm directly into the surrogate woman’s cervix, fallopian tube or uterus. The embryo is formed in the womb of the surrogate mother and then the surrogate mother keeps that embryo in her womb for nine months. In this case, the surrogate mother is the biological mother of the child.

If the father’s sperm is not used in this case, then the sperm of a male donor can be used. If the donor’s sperm was used, then the father is not genetically related to the child.

Gestational surrogacy- In this surrogacy, the surrogate mother is not genetically related to the child.

That is, in gestational surrogacy, the eggs of the surrogate mother are not used. She only gives birth to the child. In this case, the surrogate mother is not the biological mother of the child. In gestational surrogacy, the father’s sperm and the mother’s egg are mixed and implanted in the surrogate mother’s uterus.

In this, the embryo is created through IVF method and implanted in the surrogate mother’s uterus.

Thus, IVF is also used in traditional surrogacy.

However, the Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) method is used in traditional surrogacy. IUI is a very easy medical procedure in which the surrogate mother does not have to undergo many tests and treatments. The eggs of the traditional surrogate mother are used, so the woman who wants a child does not have to face the hassle of the egg retrieval process.

Gestational surrogacy is more popular among all IVF centers in India because the traditional surrogate mother is the biological mother of the child, which is prone to disputes.

Gestational surrogacy is also divided into two parts

One is altruistic surrogacy and the other is commercial surrogacy.

Altruistic surrogacy – When a couple invites a surrogate woman to live with them. The surrogate woman can be a relative or a stranger. In this case, the couple bears all the expenses of the surrogate mother.

Commercial surrogacy – In which the surrogate mother is compensated for giving birth to the child. According to the new law, commercial surrogacy is now banned.

Why a single man cannot become a surrogate father

According to the new surrogacy law, Surrogacy (Regulation) Act, 2021, only married couples can resort to surrogacy.

No single man can avail surrogacy. Single women can still avail it but only if they are divorced or widowed and are between 35 and 45 years of age.

Homosexuals are also prohibited from using surrogacy. Experts say that this was not the case earlier. Filmmaker Karan Johar and actor Tusshar Kapoor became single fathers with the help of surrogacy.

Dr Naina Patel, who runs a surrogacy clinic in Anand city, known as the baby factory of Gujarat, says, “This provision of the law violates the reproductive rights of men.”

Dr Parth Bavisi also expressed his opposition to this and said, “Today there will be many men like Preetesh who will not marry because they do not find a life partner of their choice. So what will happen to their feelings of being a father? If you look at the sex ratio in India, the number of women is less than the number of men. In such cases, the feelings of paternity of men should be respected.”

However, several petitions have been filed in various courts across the country challenging the provision of the law, under which single men and single women cannot have children through surrogacy.

This is a violation of Articles 14 and 21 of the Constitution. Dr Manish Banker, former president of the Indian Society for Assisted Reproduction, says, “Although the cases are being heard in various courts, the law is still in force. The government has put forth its side in the court and from the government’s response it seems that the government is not ready to make any compromise on this matter.” Let us tell you that according to a report published in The Print on April 5, 2023, in response to a petition filed in the Supreme Court on this matter, the government had described the new provisions of surrogacy as a combination of “social, and morality. And refused to relax these strict provisions.

What is the new surrogacy law?

According to the new law, only childless couples can avail surrogacy.

Their age should be between 25 and 50. They should not have any child nor should they have adopted any child.

A woman can avail surrogacy only if she is a widow or divorcee and her age is between 35 to 45 years.

The law allows a widow or divorced woman to donate her eggs for surrogacy. However, her age should be between 35 to 45 years.

Couples who want to have a child under surrogacy have to contact a special government medical board for surrogacy. The surrogacy process can proceed only after the approval of the board.

Once the couple and the surrogate have obtained their eligibility certificate, they can contact assisted reproductive technology (ART).

Surrogate women and couples will have to link their Aadhar cards so that there is a record of the biometrics of the people involved in this system. If any questions arise in the coming days, then they can be resolved with the help of this record.

Those who violate the law can be jailed for up to 10 years and fined Rs 25 lakh.

If the couple dies before the birth of the child, then the responsibility of the maintenance of the child will be on the person nominated by the couple. This responsibility is not of the surrogate mother.

Celebrities who resorted to surrogacy

Bollywood actress Priyanka Chopra and her husband Nick Jonas have become parents with the help of surrogacy.

Bollywood actress Preity Zinta and her husband Gene Goodenough also became parents of twins through surrogacy. Shilpa Shetty also became the mother of daughter Samisha with the help of surrogacy.

Film producer Karan Johar is a single father who became a father through surrogacy. In 2017, he became the father of twins. Ekta Kapoor also became a single mother with the help of surrogacy.

Actress Lisa Ray also became a mother with the help of surrogacy. Sunny Leone had first adopted two children and later she became the mother of two children with the help of surrogacy.

Shahrukh Khan and Gauri Khan also became parents in 2013 with the help of surrogacy. Their son’s name is AbRam.

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